Stopping the Benedictine Terrorists
That's funny, I always thought it was the Jesuits who were the secret-society style conspiracists
aiming to take over first America and then the world:
The nuns of the Holy Name Monastery say they have been swept into the net cast by the nation's antiterrorism laws.
The sisters say the monastery's main bank account was frozen without explanation in November, creating financial headaches and making the Benedictine nuns hopping mad. They were told the Patriot Act was the cause.
"I think the Patriot Act is unwise, let's say, and that if it happened to us, it can happen to anybody," said Sister Jean Abbott, the monastery's business manager. "I think people need to know that nobody is safe from, in some cases, really ridiculous scrutiny."
The nuns didn't know anything was amiss until Nov. 10, when their checks started bouncing without warning and the account wouldn't accept deposits, including paychecks from state agencies where some of the sisters hold jobs.
Abbott said she was told the troubles started because one 80-year-old nun who is a signatory to the account didn't have her Social Security number and photo ID on file.
"Clearly an international spy," Abbott said wryly.
None of the nuns has given the bank that information, Abbott said. "We've been in business 116 years. No one's ever asked."
Against the Patriot Act from the start, the sisters have members of Congress on speed dial, Abbott said. "They'll be hearing from us now that this is all settled."
My advice to the government: Be afraid, be very afraid.
As a twelve-year veteran of Catholic schools, I am here to tell you that you don't want a bunch of pissed-off nuns on your ass.